Why you shouldn’t tell your friend her boyfriend is cheating on her.

She knows.

Subconsciously, anyways.

Listen, women always know. She avoids getting the evidence she needs to prove it, for HERSELF. She does this subconsciously. She does not want to know that he’s cheating on her, she doesn’t want to be sure because she’s not ready to leave him.

So it’s not the question of if you’re willing to tell her that her boyfriend is cheating, it’s the question of whether or not you’re ready to make her aware that other people KNOW that her man is cheating on her.

The truth is: Letting your friend know that YOU know that her man is cheating, embarrasses her! It forces her to make a choice that she is not ready to make. To cope with this, she WILL lash out on you. Regardless of how strong a woman is; in love, everyone is weak. All the built up anger and resentment she has for the man, will get dumped onto you because you’re the first person to verify those suspicions she had. You are forcing her to acknowledge that the infidelity is going on and that if she doesn’t leave her man, she will look stupid.

If you cannot contain yourself, you can let her see it for herself. Discretely point her in the direction of his wrong doings, so she can take her time to figure out what she is willing to do about it or if she’s wiling to acknowledge it at all. Do not open your mouth to comment on anybody’s relationship and/or significant other. It will not end well for you, you might end up losing a friend. Let the relationship run it’s course, let her be stupid this time because telling her won’t make her her leave him but she might leave you.

Then hear that ‘you’re a hater’ or ‘you need to go find a man of your own’ or ‘you need to mind your business.’

She’ll be mad if you do and mad if you don’t. But if you choose to tell her, she is more than likely still currently in the relationship with the infidel and possibly still in denial. When you don’t and she’s upset with you for not telling her(if she even finds out), she’s already acknowledged it and made up her mind to leave him or have already left him or else she wouldn’t have told you. You can plead your case better when the trash is no longer in the picture.

Help her cope after the heartbreak, don’t be the one to break her heart.

So…..

my advice…

 

Mind your business, baby!

 

9 thoughts on “Why you shouldn’t tell your friend her boyfriend is cheating on her.

  1. savingshards says:

    Oh Nat Lin. I could not disagree more. As a betrayed wife, I assure you, I had no idea. Not one, tiny inkling. After I discovered HUSBAND’s cheating, I spent the next months devastated at my stupidity, drowning in my ignorance and beating myself up for it. I searched every moment of the years of my marriage…did I know? Did I ignore signs? The answer was resounding NO. I am eternally grateful to the person who finally sent an anonymous email to open the reality of my life, my marriage. Hugs to you.

    Like

    • Nat Lin says:

      I’m sorry that happened to you. And it is true that there are some women who has no idea but in my experience, a majority do. If you don’t mind me asking, did you end the marriage soon after finding out about the infidelity?

      Liked by 1 person

      • savingshards says:

        No. I definitely considered it, and felt the freedom to – financially, emotionally, spiritually. My story is in my blog…best place to start is November 8, 2015 because it starts chronologically. It has turned out to be an incredible love story. Hugs to you!

        Like

      • Nat Lin says:

        I will definitely look into your blog. But you’ve proven my point, you haven’t left the man (not that you should’ve). If your friend had told you and you weren’t willing to leave your man(which you weren’t), you would’ve in turn felt stupid and a bit pressured to leave him, slowly building resentment that your friend told you or even knows.

        Liked by 1 person

      • savingshards says:

        Oh…I would absolutely have left him. I chose not to after deep personal work on both our parts, and incredible healing. If he even remotely was the man today that he was when his cheating was uncovered, we would not be married.
        We have gone very public with our story…been on three different news shows, lead retreats and seminars about marriage. We spoke to a group of philanthropists this spring, and were featured in a video that has aired to over 10,000 people. We have a public blog, and it opens with our story. We always start with our story. Our children all know, and have been part of the healing too. I don’t resent that people know…I am grateful that there are no more lies.
        I now see that the most painful thing that can be is pretension and lies and masks…and I love being FREE!!! Best to you!

        Like

      • Nat Lin says:

        Well, you are far and few between. Congratulations on your healing, btw! I’d love to feature you on my blog, if you’re ever interested. Let me know! And thanks for sharing your opinion, I appreciate it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • savingshards says:

        Nat…I’d be thrilled to be featured om your blog! Just let me know what you need from me. And thanks for listening…and caring. I appreciate you. We all have so much to learn from each other – and to give to each other.

        Like

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